Self Healing

Holding On When Life Feels Heavy: A Gentle Guide to Keep Going

written by: Adreanna Santos     |     December 24, 2024

Holding On When Life Feels Heavy thumbnail

Some days feel heavier than others. You wake up with a pit in your stomach or the weight of unspoken emotions pressing down on your chest. Maybe you’ve been trying to do everything right—showing up for work, staying present for friends and family, pushing through each day—but deep down, it feels like you’re running on empty.

If this sounds familiar, I want you to know that you’re not alone. This season, with its endless to-do lists, high expectations, and bright social media posts, can amplify the contrast between how you feel and how you think you should feel. And while the world is dressed in glittering lights, your inner world might feel clouded and stuck.

Let this be a space where you can pause, exhale, and feel seen. Together, let’s explore why life feels heavy and uncover gentle ways to carry the weight differently—one small step at a time.

quote that says even in the heaviness, your heart is still worthy of care

The heaviness of life can be invisible to others, but you feel it—don’t you? It’s the weight that sits in your chest, the ache in your heart that whispers, How did I get here? Maybe you’re grieving something you lost. Maybe it’s a dream you’ve had to set aside or a relationship that no longer feels like home. Maybe it’s the pain of simply navigating life when it feels like the world doesn’t see the storm you’re walking through.

If you’re feeling this way tonight, I want you to know this: You are not broken. You are not weak. You are human, and your feelings matter.

This time of year, the world is busy celebrating, but if you’re struggling, it can feel like everyone is caught up in their own joy while you carry the quiet weight of your pain. It can feel lonely. It can feel like you don’t belong. But even in the darkest moments, there’s still space for you. There’s still room for your feelings, your healing, and your heart.

Why Life Feels So Heavy

When life feels unbearably heavy, it often signals something deeper beneath the surface. It’s not just about the tasks you haven’t completed or the deadlines looming. It’s about the emotional and mental load you carry:

  • Unprocessed Emotions: Years of ignoring your needs, prioritizing others, or suppressing what you feel can create an emotional bottleneck, making everything feel harder than it should be.
  • Inauthentic Living: If you’ve been wearing a mask for too long—adapting yourself to fit into spaces or relationships that don’t fully honor you—it creates a disconnect. A life misaligned with your true self is exhausting.
  • Expectations vs. Reality: The gap between who you are and who you feel you should be widens under societal and personal pressures, making it hard to find peace in the present.

Recognizing the source of heaviness doesn’t immediately take the weight off, but it can help you see that you’re not weak or broken. You’re navigating a very human experience—one that requires patience and self-compassion.

Leaning Into the Heaviness

It’s tempting to try to run from the heaviness, to distract yourself or push it down until it fades. But the truth is, the heaviness isn’t here to punish you—it’s here to ask for your attention. Sometimes, the hardest thing to do is to lean into your feelings instead of fighting them.

Start small. Maybe it’s placing a hand over your heart and whispering, I see you, and I’m here. Maybe it’s letting yourself cry or writing down the tangled mess of emotions swirling inside of you. Whatever you’re carrying, it deserves to be acknowledged.

Your feelings are valid. They don’t need to be fixed or justified. They just need to be felt.

Acknowledging the Weight You’re Carrying

The first step to moving through heaviness is acknowledging it without judgment.

  • Ask Yourself: What’s Really Weighing Me Down?
    Take a moment to reflect. Is it emotional exhaustion? Fear of rejection? Guilt about setting boundaries? Sometimes, naming the weight can make it feel less overwhelming.
  • Release the Need to “Fix” It Immediately
    You don’t have to solve every problem today. It’s okay to sit with your feelings and let them exist. Imagine a close friend coming to you with the same struggle—what would you tell them? Now, extend that kindness to yourself.

Practical Ways to Lighten the Load

When you feel stuck, small shifts can create big changes over time. Here are a few gentle practices to help:

1. Let Go of Perfection

Life isn’t meant to be flawless. The perfectly decorated tree, spotless house, or career milestone isn’t the goal—peace and authenticity are. Give yourself permission to be human, messy, and real.

2. Create a ‘Non-Negotiable’ Daily Ritual

Whether it’s taking a walk, journaling, or sitting quietly for five minutes, having a grounding practice can anchor you when everything else feels chaotic.

3. Learn to Say “No” Without Guilt

The idea that your worth depends on pleasing others is a lie your subconscious might have absorbed long ago. Practice setting small boundaries, and notice how it feels to honor your needs, even if it’s uncomfortable at first.

4. Reconnect with Your Body

Anxiety, stress, and emotional pain often manifest physically. Gentle movements like stretching, yoga, or even mindful breathing can help release some of that stored tension.

5. Ask for Help

You don’t have to carry everything alone. Whether it’s reaching out to a therapist, a trusted friend, or a support group, allowing others to support you is a sign of strength—not weakness.

Reframing the Story You Tell Yourself

The way we think about our struggles can make a profound difference.

  • Shift from “I’m Broken” to “I’m Learning”
    What if the heaviness you’re feeling is an invitation to grow rather than a punishment? This mindset shift doesn’t dismiss your pain—it reframes it as part of a greater story of resilience.
  • Rewrite the Narrative Around Worth
    Remind yourself: Your worth isn’t tied to productivity or external validation. You are enough simply because you exist.

Finding Hope in Small Wins

On days when everything feels too much, focus on the smallest, simplest actions:

  • Drinking a glass of water.
  • Sending one thoughtful text.
  • Taking one deep breath.

When everything feels like too much, it’s okay to start small. You don’t have to solve everything all at once. Just focus on the next small thing.

  • Maybe it’s taking a walk and letting the fresh air remind you that life is still moving, even when you feel stuck.
  • Maybe it’s lighting a candle and sitting quietly with your thoughts.
  • Maybe it’s calling someone you trust and sharing the weight you’re carrying.

These tiny moments of care can create ripples of change. Trust that every small act adds up, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now.

You’re Not Alone

One of the hardest parts of feeling lost or in pain is the loneliness that comes with it. It’s easy to believe that you’re the only one struggling, that everyone else has it figured out. But if you could peek behind the curtain of other people’s lives, you’d see that so many are quietly carrying their own pain, too.

This doesn’t diminish your experience—it simply means you’re not as alone as you might feel. Your story matters. Your struggles matter. And there are people who care about you, even if they don’t always know how to show it.

Letting Light In

As you move through this season, try to notice the small glimmers of light. It might be the way the sun feels on your skin, a kind word from a stranger, or the comfort of your favorite blanket. These tiny moments might not change everything, but they remind you that there’s still goodness in the world, even when life feels heavy.

Healing doesn’t happen all at once. It’s a slow unfolding, a gradual softening of the edges. Some days will feel lighter than others, and that’s okay. What matters most is that you keep going, even if the steps are small.

You are not your pain. You are not your heaviness. You are so much more—a whole, worthy, beautiful soul navigating a difficult moment in time.

You don’t have to carry the weight of the world alone. Let this season remind you to pause, reflect, and seek joy in the smallest of things. You’re allowed to rest. You’re allowed to feel. And most importantly, you’re allowed to take up space just as you are.

I’m an expert at subconscious reprogramming, a nerd when it comes to human behavior, and my obsession is teaching others how to be their best selves (without all of the resistance and self-sabotage).

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I'm Adreanna.

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