What’s the ONE question I ask myself every single day? And how does it transform my relationship with myself? In this episode, I share the question that has helped me build a stronger and more fulfilling relationship with myself. I explore the power of self love and ways in which self care helps me prioritize my wellbeing so I can build resilience to the stresses of life.
And if you're looking for more guidance, I'm sharing the importance of self love, tips to foster self love, and how to maintain a self love practice below.
Can you relate?
You're scrolling through social media and you see all of the happy couples, the people with the great jobs, the perfect lives. And you can't help but wonder, why am I not good enough? Why can't I have what they have? You compare your life to others and you come up short every single time. These feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt start to eat away at you until all you can focus on is what you perceive as your shortcomings.
If you don't know how to love yourself, it can be difficult to lead a happy and fulfilling life. You may find yourself in destructive relationships, or trapped in a job you hate because you don't believe you're good enough to pursue your dreams. You may constantly compare yourself to others and feel like you're falling short. Not knowing how to love yourself can lead to a vicious cycle of negative thoughts and behaviors that can be difficult to break free from.
The power of self love can help you break free from the negative cycle of thoughts and behaviors you may find yourself in. When you love yourself, you believe in your own worth. You pursue your dreams and live a life that is authentic to you. You don't compare yourself to others because you know that you are the only one who can define your worth. Self love is the foundation for a happy and fulfilling life.
I know it can be difficult to love yourself when the world tells you that you're not good enough. But the truth is, you are the only one who can define your worth. And the power of self love can help you lead a happy and fulfilling life.
What is self love, and why is it important?
Self love is the ability to love oneself unconditionally and without judgement. It is important because it lays the foundation for all other forms of love. When we are able to love ourselves, we are able to give and receive love more easily.
Self love is the gateway to high self worth.
This means that no matter what life throws your way, you know that you are worthy of love and respect. It means that you won't settle for anything less than you deserve. It means that you will pursue your dreams and live a life that is authentic to you.
Self love is the practice of caring for oneself with the same compassion, kindness, and attention that we would give to a dear friend. It is the act of treating ourselves with respect and honoring our own needs and desires. When we love ourselves, we are better able to love others and to create healthy, lasting relationships. We also have more capacity to care for the world around us.
Self love requires us to listen to our bodies and our hearts. It means making time for the things that bring us joy and nourish our souls. It means being gentle with ourselves when we make mistakes and learning from them instead of beating ourselves up. It means having the courage to follow our dreams and to live life on our own terms. And it means understanding that we are worthy of happiness and deserving of love.
The power of self love should not be underestimated. When we truly love and care for ourselves, everything else falls into place. We are happier, healthier, and more productive. We attract positive people and situations into our lives. We radiate confidence and vitality. Best of all, we set an example for others to follow.
For more on why having high self love and self worth can change your life, listen to this.
The benefits of self love
There are many benefits to learning how to love yourself. When you love yourself, you:
- Believe in your own worth
- Pursue your dreams
- Align with your authentic self
- Don't compare yourself to others
- Feel happier and more fulfilled
- Are kind to yourself
- Attract positive people and situations into your life
- Radiate confidence and vitality
- Set an example for others to follow
My #1 tip to foster self love
My #1 tip to foster self love is simple but powerful - do something nice for yourself every single day. This is what I talk about in the podcast episode above. I ask myself one simple question every day "what's one thing I can do to show myself love today?" And then I act on it.
It doesn't have to be crazy. In fact, it doesn't really matter what it is you do. It's the act of checking in with yourself and giving yourself what you need that cultivates the self love and self trust.
Here are some ideas of ways you can show love to yourself every day:
- take a relaxing bath
- get a massage
- take a nature walk
- make yourself a healthy meal
- read a inspiring book
- do something creative
- meditate or do yoga
- spend time with loved ones
- call a friend
- buy yourself flowers
- try something you've been wanting to learn
- Recite self love mantras
- give yourself alone time
- watch a TV show or movie
- make yourself laugh
What I need every day is different. Some days I need quiet, some days I need to laugh, and some days I need connection. By checking in with myself and giving myself what I need, I'm showing myself that I matter. And this repetition of taking actions to communicate to myself that I matter, over time, cultivates self love.
Other tips for self love:
Self love is a practice, and it often has many different layers. In addition to the tip above, here are some other ways you can show yourself love:
- Make time for the things you enjoy. Do something every day that brings you joy, even if it's something small.
- Be gentle with yourself. Avoid negative self talk and talk to yourself the way you would talk to a good friend.
- Listen to your heart. What does it tell you that you need?
- Forgive yourself - We all make mistakes. The key is to learn from them and then let them go. Holding on to anger, resentment, and shame only hurts you in the end. So be gentle with yourself, extend yourself some grace, and let it go.
- Love your body - This is something I'm still working on (more on that here). Our culture tells us that we need to look a certain way in order to be happy and loved. But the truth is, our bodies are amazing just the way they are. They allow us to experience life in all its fullness. So show your body some gratitude.
- Seek out the company of positive people. Spend time with people who make you feel good about yourself.
- Pursue your dreams. What is your heart's desire? What would make you truly happy?
- Live life on your own terms. Don't let anyone else control your life. You are the only one who knows what's best for you.
- Practice gratitude. Every day, think of at least three things you're grateful for. This will help shift your focus from the negative to the positive.
How to maintain your self love practice
No matter what life throws your way, it's important to maintain your self love practice. Why? Because the power of self love is immense. It can help you to weather any storm, overcome any obstacle, and achieve any goal. When you love yourself, you are tapping into a wellspring of strength, courage, and determination. You are also opening yourself up to limitless possibilities. So whatever challenges you may be facing, remember that you are never alone. You have the power of self love on your side. With that in your corner, anything is possible.
The most important thing is to be consistent with your self love practice. The more consistent you are, the more you reinforce to your subconscious mind the feeling of self love. Over time, this repetition will rewrite the negative self worth beliefs you have about yourself. This will make self love come more naturally to you and become a habit.
It will feel foreign at first, this is because you have spent X amount of years neglecting your needs, putting yourself down, and putting other people/things first. But just like with anything else, the more you do it, the easier it will become.
Here are some tips for maintaining your self love practice:
- Set aside time each day for your self love practice. If you can, make it the first thing you do in the morning. This will set the tone for the rest of the day.
- Use self love journal prompts as an opportunity to learn more about yourself and what you need in order to feel fulfilled
- Keep it simple. Don't try to do too much at once. Just focus on one or two things that you can consistently do every day.
- Be patient with yourself. It takes time to develop self love. But the more you practice, the easier it will become.
- Persevere when you slip up. Everyone makes mistakes. The key is to learn from them and then get back on track with your self love practice.
- Seek out support. If you're having trouble with your self love practice, seek out the help of a friend, therapist, or coach.
- Have fun with it. The more fun you have with your self love practice, the more likely you are to stick with it.
Self love is a critical ingredient for happiness, success and inner peace. When we take the time to fill our own cups, we have more to give others.
It’s important to remember that this is just a starting point. There are so many ways to foster and cultivate a healthy relationship with oneself, and the most important thing is to find what works for you. The resources we’ve provided should give you a good place to start, but don’t be afraid to explore and experiment. Be gentle with yourself as you begin your journey; Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither will your self love practice be. I hope that you take some time for yourself in the coming weeks and months to reflect on all that we’ve talked about today.
And if you’re new to the concept of self love or need some inspiration on how to get started, download our free Self Love Kickstarter. This resource will help you set the foundation for a lifelong practice of self love that leads to greater joy, abundance and peace in your life. What are you waiting for? Start loving yourself today, I promise you won't regret it!